Love and Real Life

"I remember trying not to stare the night that I first met you, you had me mesmerized. And three weeks later in the front porch light taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight, I hadn't told you yet...but I thought I loved you then."

     It was April 30, 2006 and I was joining a group of people for Joy's birthday at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Penni told me her brother would be there and she was excited about introducing us but, not really wanting to get excited prematurely, I blew it off.  Besides, he probably wouldn't even be cute and if he was he probably wouldn't even like me or think I was cute...that's the really mature, non-high school gist of the millisecond of a thought I had about meeting this "Bobby" character.
     Then...
     In the midst of normal table conversation and laughter, I catch a glimpse of this guy coming through the front door and what do ya know...he is cute after all.  Gorgeous.  Dead sexy.  Something along those lines.  And something really strange happens that I've never mentioned to him before writing this post.  Probably because I thought it would sound sappy and silly and like it came straight out of a romantic comedy, but it is the complete and honest truth.  I felt something almost physically shift and click into place inside me.  I didn't completely recognize it for what it was at the moment because I fought the mere idea of he and I for about a week after that, but eventually I knew it was my "when you know, you know" moment.  It's just that my head had to catch up.
     Later that day I found out that, what do ya know, he thought I was cute too.  Or hot.  Something along those lines.  Either way, we had managed to make a connection through the quick glances and two word sentences we exchanged that day at lunch with ten other people.  In the weeks that followed we figured out pretty quickly that we were gonna get married, it was just a matter of when.  When it was all said and done, we got married less than seven months from the day we met.
     I love our story of how we ended up together because I can look at all the details (most not mentioned here) and see how strategically God placed us in each other's paths.  But the story I love the most is the one that's still being told.  The one that started five years ago and has since taken on an entirely different shape than what we planned.  The one that is still being written every day in our home and through our journey as parents. These days the dreams of young girls have changed from being married to having a fabulous wedding.  Years of planning go into the wedding, but very little thought goes into the marriage itself.  When we first got married I would get really frustrated with people who had been married a long time and wanted to put their cynical two cents in on what marriage really was.  And, really, I still do.  I'm not a fan of bitterness, resentment and overall negativity especially when there's an attempt to infect others with it.  That being said...marriage is really hard.
     Maybe I should say it this way.  If your aim is to stay married for the rest of your lives and not run away when things get rough, then marriage is really hard.  Forever is a long time.  You're bound to hit some bumps along the way.  Babies come along.  Money gets tighter.  Patience wears thin.  Time gets shorter.  Life happens.  Don't misunderstand...I'm not saying any of this with the attitude of, "Well, enjoy being single while you can..."  I'm just saying that I've realized that when you love someone that much, then you'd better be prepared to fight for them.  And when you have someone who is willing to stick with you through the worst kind of crap, then thank God for them every day and don't take them for granted.  Choose to grow as a person.  Compromise.  And extend mercy the way God extends it to us.
     Bobby has been one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me and on this anniversary I am thinking about how I would like to live every day in a way that shows him that.  Five years ago two flawed, imperfect people promised to love each other through every stage of life, even the ones they didn't plan on encountering.  I am so blessed to have been one of them and I can't wait to see how the next five years turn out.  I love you, Bobby, you're the best.

"And we bear the light of the Son of Man, so there's nothing left to fear.  So I'll walk with you in the shadow lands, til the shadows disappear.  'Cuz He promised not to leave us and His promises are true, so in the face of all this chaos, baby I can dance with you."