Work it Out

The man is home for his day off today and I sent him out this morning to take Joshua to school.  Is that wrong?  I had planned on taking him myself and then going to the gym, but the same little boy woke up at four this morning and didn't go back to sleep until about six.  I really needed a wake-up-slow-with-a-cup-of-coffee morning to be of any use for the rest of the day.  And also Bobby really likes when he gets to be there to bring or pick him up.  I got a good one that way.

Caleb has been running a fever for a couple of days so he's been pretty sedate, mostly laying on the couch or playing with his iPad (Yes, my not-yet-three year old has an iPad, it's to keep him from fighting with Joshua over his...don't judge me).  And I have to be honest, the lack of whining and running around like a small crazy person has been pretty nice.  Not that I'm happy the kid has been sick...I'm just sayin', calm is a welcomed state in this house.

So maybe I lied about being able to post on here more often with Bobby being gone.  I have aspirations of posting a few times a week and eventually working my way up to every day.  Grandiose ideas and plans are my specialty.  Unfortunately, follow-through with said ideas and plans is not.  I've been writing down ideas for posts lately as I think of them throughout the day to help my motivation.  So far I have one.  And it's not what I'm writing about today.  Sometimes I feel like I need a brain organizer.

Today I'm thinking about working out my faith with small victories.  Stepping stones that will inevitably lead to the big victory.  This seems to be a theme for the state of my faith in the last few years.  For whatever the reason, God is intent on Bobby and I walking out every single path one baby step at a time.  The all at once, easy button kind of stuff just doesn't happen for us.  I'm convinced it's because we are being prepared and taught and blah blah blah.  Lately I am finding it difficult to be patient with the process.  Hence the return to celebrating small victories.  If it's not going to happen over night, I might as well appreciate each new step as it comes, since it is one more step in the right direction.  Even though it usually feels like a drop in the ocean.

Every day I pick Joshua up whatever therapist he had for the day tells me how awesome he is doing and how they're all so excited about the progress he is making.  This week one of them told me he can actually arrange the letters in his name to spell it correctly.  I called her a liar but she assured me she wasn't so I guess I should believe her.  One of these days I will be able to go and watch him do some of this stuff I've never seen but am told he can do.  I catch glimpses at home, but he is serious about home time being his time to do whatever he wants and who can blame him after following such a strict schedule for the majority of the week?  My point here is that while we are so focused on his speech (which we should be) sometimes I forget that the other things he is beginning to do like imitation are essential to his learning to talk.  And the more we learn what is locked inside him, the more excited I get about the day he finally begins to speak because I know all of the rest of his knowledge will just fall out of him.  I am very hopeful that he could quickly begin to catch up academically if we could just get him to start talking.

Another small victory: potty training.  And I hope you see that me calling that a "small victory" is sarcasm.  We are very close to him being totally potty trained and that is nothing short of miraculous, people.

I am also seeing Bobby being gone right now as just a step toward progress.  The next few months will be difficult, but they will also be invaluable to his future career.  Getting this job behind him means taking the next step in being where he wants to be.

And that seems to be life for the moment...always looking ahead to where the present is taking us, while at  the same time, trying to enjoy the present for what it is itself.  Faith has really began to feel like exercise.  The more I work it out, the stronger and more powerful it gets.  But sometimes, I just get plain lazy and it starts to atrophy like muscles would.  Laziness isn't just a physical thing, you know.  It's very much more likely to present itself mentally and spiritually, the secret is knowing and recognizing it.  You can't go on thinking every thought that falls into your head if you want to maintain or grow your faith.  Just like you can't lay around on the couch every day expecting to get six-pack abs.  If there is anything I've learned since becoming an adult (which I have a hard time believing has even happened yet), it's that nothing that is worth anything comes easily or without work and effort.

So that's where I am at the moment, getting back into working out my faith.  Anyone care to join me? (I've also been working out my body and totally intend on getting that six-pack.  Or at least a pair of abs.)

"Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are they who keep His testimonies, and who SEEK, INQUIRE for and of Him and CRAVE Him with the whole heart."
Psalm 119:2 AMP (emphasis mine...notice they are all action words)