Five. Years. Old.

Josh 1:9
Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
AMP

One of these days I will post things more than once a month.

I had to take a minute and acknowledge today, August 23, 2012, as being Joshua's fifth birthday.  Five.  Oh, the things that can fill up five years so easily, so quickly.  Bobby and I have always described our years of marriage as "full" years.  Our anniversary rolls around and we can't believe how much has happened or changed in such a relatively short amount of time.  Kid years, as any of you parents know, are much, much shorter.  You always here the cliche, "They grow up so fast," before you have children, but then you have them and you realize it's not cliche (except that it's used so often), it's the absolute, God's-honest truth.

Joshua's first five years have not been the typical years of most children, but they have been overflowing with love, not just from us, but from all of our family and friends.  He is adored by so many and we are so very blessed by this awesome support system surrounding us on all sides.  From the moment he entered this world, he's been causing us to age at record speed, scaring the crap out of us with his brushes with death.  But he has also shown us the hand of God in those same instances, and I have never been more aware of the ever-present host of angels watching over us.  He has challenged us and inspired us.  He has brought us overwhelming joy and the first glimpse at unconditional love we ever experienced.

His birthdays tend to be very bittersweet for me, because every year passed is another we can't get back, another reminder of the obstacles he is facing.  This was supposed to be the year he started kindergarten.  I was supposed to be buying school supplies and dropping him off and crying all day over how big he is getting.  Instead I am crying over what he is being robbed of and missing out on.

This is where I say screw that.

I am going to celebrate the life of the sweetest boy to ever grace this earth.  I am going to be grateful for the privilege of being his mom and getting to walk this walk with him.  I am going to praise God for the hope I have in Him that things won't be this way forever and one day (even soon) he will get his first day of school too.  The faith I have carries me over the anger and onward to the promise.  Joshua has a promise and the passing of time doesn't take away from that.  Dwelling on the hard part would be a disservice to him and I won't do it.  It's a happy occasion to say he's lived another year and grown leaps and bounds from last year. So I'm going to be happy, dangit!

My baby is five years old today and I'm so happy he's my five year old.
Happy Birthday, Joshua Allen :)