Plans

I fixed a toilet yesterday.  I mean, FIXED it.  Took the tank off and replaced all kinds of stuff and everything.  I love doing things like that because then I feel really accomplished when it's done.  Stay at home Mom, maid, cook, chauffeur, and now plumber.  I've always thrived in really structured activities and that's one of those things I have in common with Autism.  Anything that comes with step by step instructions, I am all over.  Putting toys and furniture together.  Fixing things.  Recipes.  When my brother and I played Legos as kids, I always followed the directions exactly.   If I was going to try and build something on my own I was completely lost.  To this day, I need a plan.  I don't have trouble adjusting or adapting if things go a different way, but to go in with the idea of just totally winging it makes me crazy.  If you know the people I am in ministry with, you're laughing right now because this part of my personality has been challenged since the day I met them.

Ironically, Autism is the other thing that has pushed all of my plans over a cliff.  I think that is the hardest part for most parents because we all have ideas in our minds of how life will be for our children.  School and trips and friends.  Autism forces you to re-route everything you had in mind.  And then in a strange twist, turns planning out every day tasks into a well-oiled routine necessary for life to continue on this new path.  Now, if you were at all spontaneous before, you no longer have that luxury.  Granted, kids in general sort of do that, Autism just intensifies it, I guess.

My point here is that I like structure and preparation and planning.  But, sometimes no matter how much of that you do, things happen and plans change.  Not to mention all of the stuff that you just can't ever prepare yourself for.  Bobby is leaving next month for work.  He'll be staying in a hotel and coming home about six nights out of the month for three months.  This will be the longest we've had to do this for.  The difference is that this time I will be over an hour away from everyone that kept me occupied all of the other times.  I'm trying to psyche myself up for it and mentally prepare but that includes realizing that I am going to get really emotional in the middle of it.  It happens every time.  I know it's not the worst thing any couple has ever had to do.  It's not like the women whose husbands are over in Afghanistan while they're giving birth or anything. But it will be difficult for us, nonetheless.  I will plan as much as I can but when it's midnight and I'm trying to go to sleep in that big bed by myself, it's going to suck.  Sure I can turn on the TV but if the boogeyman shows up, I'm on my own.  I will be reading a lot of Psalms right before bed, I can assure you.  All in all, I know that we'll make it through just like we have every other time, I'm just hoping it goes by quickly.

So that's what I'm currently planning for.  I suggest y'all plan for three months of whiny, I-miss-my-husband Facebook posts.

"This is my comfort and consolation in my affliction: that Your word has revived me and given me life."
Psalm 119:50 AMP