I would like to interject a fun fact about myself: I have a pretty weak stomach normally. If you're looking for my Kryptonite, well there it is. Blood or a gross smell usually does it. You could probably add my "list" of words I hate to the Kryptonite group, but that isn't relevant right now.
So, as I was bracing myself to wash out this cup (that I seriously considered just throwing away), I thought about how if I hadn't developed the "breathe-through-my-mouth-instead-of-my-nose" instinct like I have, then I would probably have a much harder time taking care of little boys. And that got me thinking of all the awesome Mom Superpowers I now possess. So here is my list of Mad Mom Skills...or Skillz...depending on how gangster I'm feeling.
- First, of course, is the one I just talked about, breathing through my mouth to avoid disgusting smells. If you don't have children, this alternative to being grossed out by stinky things might have never occurred to you. Then again, if you're a twenty-something young man still living by yourself I'm sure your kitchen has warranted plenty of nose-plugging. The skill here is doing it without using your hands. You look like you're breathing normally, but you can't smell a thing. I do this on a daily basis, especially when changing a certain Caleb Brant's diaper. (For real, the kid is rotten inside or something.)
- The next one follows the whole smell theme. If you know me at all, you know I have a super heightened sense of smell. And yes, this is a curse when it comes to the whole weak stomach thing. But something cool about being a parent is that the disgusting parts are slightly less disgusting when it's your own child. So because of our..."adventures", with Joshua, I can now smell poop from the opposite side of the house. No dirty diaper will go unnoticed if I'm within 100 feet.
- I've got that whole "eyes-in-the-back-of-my-head" thing going for me already. It's like I know every sound that is specific to every object in the house. And what actions are specific to silence, e.g., climbing on the kitchen table, or chewing on a tube of diaper rash medicine.
- I communicate pretty well with a completely non-verbal 4 year old and a 19 month old who only speaks gibberish (plus a couple unhelpful words). It's the oddest thing, but it starts when they're infants and you learn to distinguish their cries. This one means hungry, that one means sleepy, this one means he's angry at the Cowboys, etc.
- I can wipe a snotty nose faster than a speeding bullet.
- When Joshua still used a pacifier, I used my super hero immune system as a shield so I could clean it off when he dropped it. The moms reading this know what I mean.
- I can figure out the most complicated of car seat fasteners. This also goes for high chairs and strollers.
- I can sleep through a hurricane (or Bobby's alarm and morning ritual at 3:30 a.m.) but the second I hear a little boy whimper I'm wide awake. Only God knows how my brain tells the difference.
- I can carry forty pounds of sleeping toddler up a flight of stairs without missing a step, but I can't do a full push-up. It's a total mystery.
- And my personal favorite...I've learned to laugh at situations that would make most people want to cry or have a nervous breakdown. It's a survival instinct, I think.
Well, that's the short list...Any moms out there have any they want to add?